From the archives at Maniac High's Seduction Website:

Theory about aggression as a female aphrodesiac.

From: Jonathan Ashton 
Subject: Male Aggression and Female Lust
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 04:12:38 -0500

I want to tie together several threads, including Maniac's
Karatebabe, Rio's ex-LTR's confusion over why she's not attracted
to the nice guys, the "Domestic Discipline" materials that
steviewonder alerted us to, and why Dr. Owl is unlikely (in my
opinion) to find the happy marriage he wants unless he becomes a
PUA first.

Big point:  male aggression is the biggest trigger for female lust.
And it's a whole lot more important than luuuuvv or looks or money.
Without occasional demonstrations of manly aggression, chicks lose
their lust and marriages go flat.

Some women need bigger displays of aggression than others to
respect and lust for their man.  There are women for whom a man's
"confidence" and the ability to face down occasional shit tests are
enough.  Then there are women like the one Greg described, who need
to be violently abused to get that lusty feeling of having a real
man.  ("Why do you always go back to him?"  Now you know.)
Confidence ain't always enough.

Big problem is, society conceals the connection.  Society tells us
a lie:  that love is what makes a woman want to have sex with a
guy.  Nobody acknowledges how aggression fires the female loins
(not explicitly anyway) - and so Rio's ex is completely dumbfounded
that her body isn't going along with her expectations of what kind
of guy she should want.  The aggression connection is so well
concealed by society, I'm embarrassed to say I lived almost three
decades before I learned it.  My first inkling came, of all places,
from reading the first Get Laid Newsletter on

I should have clued in a decade earlier.  I was naive and very nice
then, and my first lover nagged me incessantly.  One day, I finally
snapped and started yelling at her.  And what did she do?  She
smiled!  A huge big-ass smile, and looked happier than I'd ever
seen her.  Unfortunately, I didn't pick up the clue and repeat the
performance.  Her response contradicted everything I "knew" about
romantic relationships, so I just didn't make the connection.  Over
ten years later, it finally makes sense to me:  she needed a guy
who gets angry at her bullshit, just like Maniac's Karatebabe.  All
the words of her nagging were meaningless; she just wanted to
provoke a display of anger.  (She also liked to be dominated and
used in bed; I did manage to do a little of that.)

Since I read Ross' newsletter - which shocked me by showing you can
make a woman want you by aggressively resisting her rudeness - I've
I've been trying to understand how the connection between male
aggression and female lust plays out.  One example:  we use a.s.f
techniques, and women get horny.  But it's also interesting to look
at how things play out in marriages.

Turns out that two psychotherapists, George Bach and Herb Goldberg,
understood the connection very well in the early 70's when they
wrote "Creative Aggression" (out of print).  In the book, they talk
about getting spouses to interact aggressively with each other and
stand up to each other, and how it can restore failing marriages.
They also mention that couples that are always too "nicey-nicey" in
bed inevitably see the passion disappear.  I'll post a piece
shortly about Robin Skynner, who does couples therapy (with
his wife) in which he brings the couple to "a serious
confrontation, often involving `a brief episode of violence'....
This is a turning point in a relationship which had previously been
characterised by the woman backing off for fear of hurting the
man. Once the woman finds that she can attack the man and that he
wins, this is a liberating experience for the woman."

Women want to KNOW that you're stronger than them!  That they can
count on your resolve!  That they don't need to protect you from
themselves!  Women don't fuck their children, after all.

When steviewonder made his first post about Domestic Discipline,
I immediately checked out the web pages related to it
( and subscribed to
1HouseholdDiscipline at egroups.  This stuff adds a whole new
twist.  Some (many?) women need their man to make a show of his
greater strength - through dominion and even spanking - or the
marriage flounders.  I'm going to post a couple of bits that one
woman posted to the list, just to give you an idea of how women
experience it.  Yes, her frequency of sex went way up.

steviewonder says:
> This doesn't seem to be a sexual fetish issue. It seems to be a
> security/emotional issue.

Yes, that's exactly right...but without the domestic discipline,
her sex drive goes away.  Male aggression -> female lust.

A thought for you, Dr. Owl, and anyone else on this board who hopes
to marry someday:  I think you will have to reconcile yourself to
the fact that you must learn to pass a woman's shit tests, display
occasional aggression, and always have her convinced that you can
leave her and find another woman the moment she goes too far - or
your marriage will not last.  No, the shit tests never end, not
even after years of marriage.  So may I suggest you become a PUA
first, and when you have that down cold, then you can figure out
whom to marry?

Oh, and damn society for lying to us all.